When you bite into my flesh

let your teeth clamp down

break through my apple skin



Can you taste the desperation running through my veins

can you smell its bitter scent seeping through my pores

feel it drip down your chin

let it settle on your lips...



Lover, do you know how many times I have brought myself here before you

how many times this body has been left bone dry by men trying to replenish themselves on all a woman has to give

look closely

you can you see my fingerprints on the headboard from the time I held on for dear life as I let him steal a part of me



There is an outline of my body on the mattress

I left it there to remind myself that I still exist

I settle in its creases

it feels like escape

feels like longing for a way out

feels like hell

feels

like home



Pay no mind to the blood stains

they spell my name out on the fabric

you always said I looked beautiful in red



I did it for you

to show you that I was worth more than what your calloused fingers were willing to give me



I never wanted your midnight kisses

your skin underneath my nails

never wanted

just needed

to know that I was alive



It gave me a reason to hate myself again



I swallowed your name

pushed it down hard

held it deep in my stomach until it burned its way out of my system



I have discarded the secret of you like so many other childish things



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