Placating again
Finally the blood slows in my heart
Slows from being filled with frustration and rage
Aggravated at myself for always doing it
Always in the act of calming the beast
The beast in the darkness that sometimes consumes my life
I always seem to be calming it, quenching the flames
Pissed about it
Up to my eye balls in it
So good at it though
So sad that this is what it always comes to
Loathing alone in my mind
Loathing at what I’ve become
Missing all I use to be
Not proud of succumbing to the madness
Belittling myself the further and further I go with it
Cheating myself out of my own feelings
I’ve almost mastered it now
I could teach a class in it
Hold a daylong session on how and why
I’m tired though
Tired of this game
This game of burying my feelings far from the watching eyes in my life
The only one that loses is me now
Why do I play on in this?
This game of Placation
This entry was posted
on Tuesday, June 7, 2011
at 2:21 AM
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