Lizzie's Drama

Lizzie’s Drama
By Scott Wilson
Word Count: 400
It all started when our uber geek, Lizzie, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the sixth time it had happened. Feeling very frustrated, Lizzie groped a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, she realized that her beloved Staff of Randomness was missing! Immediately she called her former cellmate, Smurf Boy. Lizzie had known Smurf Boy for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones. Smurf Boy was unique. He was clever though sometimes a little... annoying. Lizzie called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Smurf Boy picked up to a very mad Lizzie. Smurf Boy calmly assured her that most albino cats panic before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly cringe *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Lizzie. Why was Smurf Boy trying to distract Lizzie? Because he had snuck out from Lizzie's with the Staff of Randomness only nine days prior. It was a sassy little Staff of Randomness... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Lizzie got back to the subject at hand: her Staff of Randomness. Smurf Boy belched. Reluctantly, Smurf Boy invited her over; assuring her, they would find the Staff of Randomness. Lizzie grabbed her refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Smurf Boy realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Staff of Randomness and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Lizzie took the curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala), he had taken at least four minutes before Lizzie would get there. However, if she took the Invisible Plane? Then Smurf Boy would be abnormally screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, five pestering Thundercats that were lured by his Staff of Randomness interrupted Smurf Boy. Smurf Boy turned red; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling relieved, he carefully reached for his banana and skillfully punched every last one of them. Apparently, this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the lemur-infested moor, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That is when he heard the Invisible Plane rolling up. It was Lizzie.