POETRY: Finding My Light by Sarah E. White

　I play the right emotions outward

You see them on my face

You hear them in my voice as it trembles just at the right moment

Playing them out for the world to see

An actress on a stage performing for the back of the house

Standing ovations for my portrayal of me

The wrong emotions on the other hand

The real ones I keep locked deep inside

Locked up so very tight

I hold on to those with white knuckles of fright

Out of fear for my own safety

I huddle around them in the darkness

Holding them close to me

Like a frightened child holding onto their blanket for comfort

I fear what the world might think of these true thoughts of mine

The character you see is not really me at all

It is the product of what people want and what people need from me

For the actress always pulls this off with grace

Gracefully pulling this off is always the actressShe is caring and understanding

Forgiving and entertaining

Her beautiful smile even lights up her eyes

Like real smiles easily do

She’s so believable

As I shake and cry in my head, inside my breaking heart

My heart that bleeds more and more at every lie the actress convincingly tells

I’m killing myself to play this role

It’s time for her understudy to step out of the dark

Find her light and shine

With all the truth that has been locked inside her heart